My Ex Boyfriend Wrote a Song About Me.

You will actually hear a lot of these stories. For some odd reason I like to date guys who later on in life write songs about how in love with me they were/are. It always makes me laugh to hear these songs due to the idea of, well why the fuck didn’t you share these feelings with me when we were together?

This story is about a guy who when I was younger I considered my first real boyfriend. But he wasn’t. He sucked. They all did when I was younger. I had bad taste and was just a dumb girl. As you know, I am 4’11 and he is about 6’4. Yes, I came up to his belly button. Leave me alone, we were in love alright? We met on Instagram my junior year of high school and was a year a head of me at a different school. He was one of those boys who always messaged me and tried to tell me my self worth. I fell for it. My senior year of high school he moved away for college and to play basketball in California. I don’t know why I thought this was a good idea, but I started to date him. At this point we never met in person, only talked on the phone and Skyped when he was free. I thought it was great. But I also thought a lot of other bad choices in my life were great at this point. He came home from spring break and we hung out in person for the first time and it was weird. We tried to hook up but we couldn’t figure out how to get it in, so he left my house and then ignored me for a week. He went back to California and then decided to answer my call. At this point I’m pissed and I felt emotionally unavailable because why does this keep happening to me? He came home again for some other reason in which I can’t remember and we finally hooked up.

Remember this was my senior year in high school, I am now in grad school. He has messaged me on twitter the other day and sent me a song he wrote about that situation. Apparently I took his virginity. Wild right? What a great way to tell me that you were freaking out on the inside by not talking to me about what was going on. And then writing a rap song about it like seven years later. No wonder I don’t know how to talk about my feelings. So my question here is, do boys always just flat out ignore you after they experience a sexual encounter with you because they don’t know how to emotionally handle it? Do you think this is okay? Do you think these type of things make us girls want you more? Because they don’t. I found a new boyfriend and this 6’4 dude became my ex boyfriend who told everyone I cheated on him. What a life. And that my friends is a story about just ONE of the boys who wrote a song about me.

Stay Fierce-

Mishy101

The Beginning

I often sit down with a glass of wine, alone, in a dark room, and just think to myself. When did I become, how should I put this? So fucked up. I guess we can take this back all the way to the time I had lost my virginity. I was 15. He had red hair. He was beautiful. At least that is what I thought. From a very young age I knew what sex was. I am not sure why or where I became educated on it. But it happened and I had always been curious. I knew what masturbation was. I knew that when you “touched down there” you felt differently but in a good way.

When the time came for me to “blossom my flower”, I had a crush on this boy for about three years at the time. I was obsessed to say the least. I mean come one, he would walk past me at festivals and our shoulders would brush together and I would stand there and pretend to melt. In front of everyone. Just imagine a very tiny girl dressed in Abercrombie pretending like she is melting into the pavement all over a boy. I am dramatic to say the least. Moving forward to being 15, he had asked me to come over via AIM and said we should watch a movie together. Obviously I didn’t think twice about this situation and I lied to my mom and told her I was doing a project and I needed to see this boy immediately. So of course mom agreed and I went over. I don’t even remember what we were watching because I was so excited and nervous to be there. Then “it” happened. And then I went home. Never heard from him again, until about my junior year in college when he decided to DM me on twitter and briefly apologize for doing that to me because he suddenly thought I was hot again.

I think I replay this moment in my head more than most 24 year olds should. I think I should be past this by now, but where do I go when I finally do past it? Do I accept it? Forgive him? Am I even mad at him about this? I feel from that moment forward I never saw anything beautiful about sex. I never saw the beauty and importance that touched our naked bodies as I gave him a part of me. I think about this day the most because it made me believe that people just wanted me for my body and nothing else. And of course as a 15 year old girl who had just gotten her period, I fucking believed it. And this my friends, is just the beginning.

Stay Fierce-

Mishy101

A Warm Welcoming.

Hey guys, my name is Michele. I am a 24 year old gal pushing through life as a barista while attending grad school. I have been thinking long and hard about making a blog and sharing my insane stories and life experiences. A huge part of the reason I decided to attend grad school was to go into publishing so I can help people get their stories out into the world. I took a moment to myself and thought, why not share my stories too along the way? So with that being said, I will be sharing stories of heart break, abuse, sexual assault, rape, and everything else under the sun. This is a safe place and I hope as a reader you can find the comfort in understanding that you aren’t so alone either.

Stay Fierce-

Mishy101